I am angry – again.
Just read this story about older people being treated horrifically by their so-called nearest and dearest. It's not really news to me but it makes my blood boil. When I wrote an article about the way those above the normal working age are treated in some of this country's hospitals, by some of this country's 'dedicated angels', I received feedback from readers that made me weep with fury and sadness. But for families to act with such cruelty, too? Madness.
What is wrong with some people? Why do the older members of so-called 'society' receive so little respect in the UK? How can we treat our older relatives or those being cared for, or who just have the cheek to become a little infirm or frail, with so little regard?
It's unbearable. Sometimes human beings make me sick.
Why is it that 'family' always bring out the worst in us. We've all had that sister or cousin or parent that could always push our buttons and make us go stark raving made. We love them to pieces but all it takes is one look to push us over the deep end.
ReplyDeleteHuman nature is a weird thing. I watched as my Great Grandmother got older and frailer her daughter (my Grandmother) started to treat her as a little child and would scold her at times. She honestly didn't realize she was doing it. I think stress and worry is much of it. I never for a second doubted that she loved her Mother with all her heart and only wanted the best for her, but she got so frustrated and she was alone in caring for her.
Now my Grandmother is getting old and frail and the difference this time is her 3 daughters are taking turns caring for her (she's in a home under palliative care). Because all the girls are taking turns none of them are getting that overwhelmed feeling as they spell each other off. The overlap their visits as well so they can talk to each other.
Community and support I feel is a huge factor in how we treat one another. If you don't feel you are 'alone' then I think mentally you can deal with more.
I fear for how I will treat my own Mother when it gets to that point. I'm an only child, I'm single I won't have that support network. My mother and I are at opposite sides of the spectrum personality wise so she's always driven me crazy. But I love her to pieces. The onus will be on me to ensure I have a strong circle of friends and loved ones to get me through those tough times when she will rely on me to take care of her.
I'm terrified.
Maybe it is their closeness that elicits that anger and frustration. You couldn't feel so strongly, I reckon, for people who didn't allow you into their personal space and didn't share every last detail or ailment with you.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your great-grandmother and grandmother (you are lucky to have known so many of your ancestors! I knew only my mum's mum who died seven years ago). That must have been tough for your grandmother, and yes, it probably was frustration and perhaps fear that pushed your grandmother to treat her mother in that way. It's ideal that your grandmother is being cared for by three people. That must ease the worry greatly.
I don't think Western community cares enough for their older people. In some communities, the older among us are revered – respected – for their knowledge, history and lessons learned. They would never be 'put' into a home.
I, too, am an only child. I love my parents dearly and hope to goodness that their health is always good. I can't bear thinking about the alternatives. And I have heard far too many horror stories about malpractice and poor treatment to trust external carers. *Shudder*