Time: clock of the heart

Wedding bouquet © Mellifluous Dark, all rights reserved.

Part of me thinks, like plenty of people, that St Valentine's Day has become increasingly commercial, like Hallowe'en and just about everything else. But it is only like that if you make it that way. For me, it's the intent that is the most important thing.

The day can provide a lovely way to break the ice with someone. It can remind some people that they need to stop and appreciate the one they choose to call their girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. This doesn't necessarily mean that you 'need a day to remember each other'. If things are as they should be, this should just be the cherry on the icing, or just another layer of icing on the cake. That's all. It doesn't mean you've 'done your duty' and that's that for another year (if it does, run. Fast.)

S took me to a small French restaurant near our home. The food was good but the best bit was having the entire evening to talk. We both work very hard, are pretty sporty and are out for some of the week keeping fit, so it was lovely to have an evening with no cooking, chores, television or phone calls. It's not unusual for us to go out or talk – we make an effort to speak to one another properly every day, without exception. How people – especially married ones – can stand to go through their lives stalking around and not communicating is a mystery to me.

Time, given wholeheartedly, is undoubtedly one of the best things you can give someone, no matter what the day. Given time, you can (hopefully) talk, listen and understand the trivial and tumultuous things that go on. The stiff upper lip is just waiting for someone who can make it quiver...