Matinee idle

This afternoon, we took the rabbits outside and let them enjoy the garden (the baby had immense fun springing around between the plants, while the older, serene rabbit tiptoed delicately and stood on her hind legs asking to be picked up by S so she could remove her feet from the dirty outdoors). It was peaceful. We read magazines in the little seating area I've created. GFG was not at home, our neighbours from two doors down were pottering outside and the sun shone. When it became cooler, I grabbed us some extra clothes, made us ginger and lemon tea and found some chocolate fingers to munch.

S, who had had to work until 3pm despite it being Easter Monday, wanted to take me to Leith Hill as he said I was looking 'brittly', saying that the view and fresh air would help me to relax and sleep tonight. I initially objected as I've been feeling tired and emotional all day/weekend and it would have been very easy to flop on the sofa and watch TV rather than make any effort (this brings to mind the Danny Wallace book I've just started reading, in which he decides to say Yes to everything). Eventually, I put on another two layers of clothing and grabbed a coat and scarf (I get cold easily).

The hill and woods were silent bar the creaking of the conifers, the twittering of birds and the call of pheasants. The deer, rabbits and squirrels were well hidden during our long walk. We had a good pub dinner afterwards and S drove home.

I feel better now – right this moment, now – but have cried a bit everyday and night since being blacklisted. I cannot believe how depressed a stupid work situation has made me feel, and I'm fed up with having Another Thing to Think About. I need to avoid this situation occurring again, that's for sure.

I know life's not a bowl of cherries – I've had my share of maggots in my fruit – but some things should be avoidable, surely, and my idealistic/hopeful/optimistic side is surprised when people are laissez-faire with the things that matter to others. I've said it once and I'll say it again: some people care only about themselves. Still never ceases to amaze me, though.

Anyway, thank you, S. You salvaged my day.