Thursday 27 September 2007

Clichés are based on truth

Estate agents = wankers/bastards/moneyfornothing scrotes? Well, based on my experience this is certainly the truth. All bar one outstanding chap (who I think has left the 'profession'), they have all been useless time-wasting tossers over the past five years. I would use the rudest word at my disposal but I think the words 'estate agents' will just have to suffice as a substitute.

Long story short:

1) We see a house we like – it's one we had spotted ages ago, when we were looking for our current place. It's back on the market.

2) We put in an offer – the asking price; it is accepted. We very quickly put our place on the market with the same agents, thinking they'd have the motivation and it would be easier to deal with just one firm of twerps.

3) The estate wankers (who we feel have overpriced our place but who love it) use 'summer' and 'the holidays' to account for the lack of viewings. They bullshit us, bring a handful of people round (who mess up our lovely pale carpet with their clodhoppers) and that's that.

After a few weeks, we realise that these people can't be arsed. Just can't be arsed – they don't even know if there is a service charge, whether it is leasehold etcetera... Their 'solution' is for us to rent our place out (via their sister lettings firm – hmm) so we have two mortgages on the go. In the current climate, this is hilarious, and we do not want to be landlords or have any extra stress.

4) S tells them that we are worried about the renting option, stresses to the agent that we still want the other place and would the manager of the estate wankers get back to us to let us know what the vendor thinks.

5) I casually browse the internet this morning and search for the address of the place we thought we were still buying. It's back on the market. They didn't even tell us. I am fucking incandescent and am minded to take the 'for sale' sign outside our place and ram it up the estate wanker manager's arse.

6) Today will be interesting. I feel it's time for me to wear my investigative journalist hat – again. Excellent.
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Listening to: The Source Feat. Candi Staton - You Got The Love

4 comments:

  1. That is really horrible. I'm so sorry this happened. My wife and I are lucky to have found one of the good agents here in the US.

    It has to be heartbreaking to have "bought" a house you really like, only to have the agency do something like this.

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  2. Hey Strugglingwriter, good to see you here.

    Thanks for your words – it really is a lottery with crazy odds when it comes to finding a decent estate agent. I'm glad you and your wife have found one of the good ones – they are rare beasts!

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  3. Estate agents are like used car salesmen and shyster lawyers. Frankly, I do not even believe they are necessary. Give them hell!

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  4. Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) – first – I love your name! Second, I totally agree – I think they will become obsolete soon enough thanks to the internet. Oh, yes... their days are well and truly numbered!

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