Ohhhhhh, I lay down upstairs in the spare room, under a duvet, while the rain pattered on the flat roof. A womb of comfort.
I closed my eyes.
And I napped for a minute or so. In fact I had several micro-sleeps over the space of half an hour. I tried to think of this and that to stay alert but my eyelids were as heavy as the wings of a jumbo jet.
I have broken the rules. For I am forbidden from napping during the day. It could have been worse, yes, but I have done wrong, and I enjoyed it.
I tried. I tried. I tried.
And I am so tired.
With every day that I am denied it on my terms, the sweet pull of sleep grows stronger... It is overpowering and all-encompassing, like a pair of strong, kind arms beckoning... inviting me in, pulling me closer with every second so it can take me, all too willing and desirous, into its darkest depths...
You know what, Mell D, I'm glad you got some microsleep even if it is forbidden at moment. How can you be expected to fight eyelids as heavy as jumbo jet wings?
ReplyDeleteI would love to be able to nap, I can rarely sleep during day, though I often lie down, but I just can't sleep!
But I realise you have real sleep problems and your napping is not a luxury.
wow. like a monologue tailor-made for a Hollywood classic
ReplyDeletei never sleep in the day. u dunno why but then i m not able to sleep well in the night. lols..
ReplyDeletedrink lots of coffee and u will be alrite there .. lols :)
sharad
nmj, hello there my green-fingered friend... I have to admit, I appreciated every nanosecond of the microsleep. It was uncontrollable, seriously. My eyes just would not stay open. It's funny, but despite having worked at home for months on end until about three weeks ago, with the bedroom, so very close by, I never napped, despite the overwhelming lethargy I felt. But now that I'm told I can't nap, that it is a crime, it's a different story...
ReplyDeleteindr's angels, hello there... welcome. What does your name mean? It's intriguing. I see that you are in New Dehli. My grandfather was from a little village not too far from there. Sadly, I have never visited your (my) country. It's on my wish list.
sharad, if I could drink coffee, I probably would. I used to drink coffee in the day then maybe a bit of wine at night - it became an unhealthy way of coping (for me, anyway)... I was up and down like a yo-yo.
Oh, bumholes.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote loads and lost it. Fuckaroo. Instant bad mood.
Anyway, Englishman!! Hello and how are you, young man? (Same age as me, eh, so you must be young.) I was saying how I thought your astonishing comment added to my post (May 7, 'How can this be fair?') was like a babbling brook that had gathered force and become all tsunami-like.
It hit me in the eyes full-force. This is not a bad thing. It's rather good and I feel privileged to have made you copy my response and take it elsewhere in order to dissect it and reply. Seriously. That's mucho flattero.
Now, about this talking the arse of a cow business... if you check one of my more recent posts (Sunday, I think), you will see a picture of a cow to whom I spoke. She was temporarily 'Bessie' and, yes, I am permanently as mad as a hatter. But as you will see, despite me talking to her, the beautiful beast is still full-arsed and in fine fettle.
I'm OK, thanks, if rather tired (yadda yadda cetra). You will see (if you read a recent post) that I cheated on my sleep therapist and had a sly microsleep. NMJ wasn't annoyed with me though, so that's a good sign. She is an understanding soul, that one.
Yeah, the feet, the feet. They don't really do the 'glowing' thing that plagues many other folk. It's a bit odd, isn't it? And it is good for kung fu except I have to wear very soft trainers as my feet are so smooth (get this, right) that I skid all over the place if they are bare and also, I hurt a toe (easily done, soft skin and all that) and refuse to place my tender skin against those of big smelly men who have trotters. Believe me, you'd feel the same if you saw some of these dirty size 11s. Yuk. Makes you want to bring in a bucket of Domestos and slosh it over them.
I'm pleased to hear that you also enjoy shoes. I have about, erm, 80 pairs, including 20-ish pairs of boots. In comparison, S has four pairs of shoes. Poor chap has nowhere to put any others, I guess.
"You just need different shoes for different moods" is a very sensible sentence. I shall look for some black Uggs and inform you of any progress made in this direction. I have three watches. I would like more.
And yes, I did snigger for at least24 hours apres le fu kung. I have sniggered sporadically since, too. I can't wait for my next fix - session - of kung fu. The endorphin rush is something else... And, yes, I did sleep pretty well. We'll see if it continues to work. Mind you, I'm so tired these days that the journey home from work is enough to make me want to fall into bed. Perhaps my body is sniggering as it can't quite believe what I'm putting it through on the Wushu front.
Thank you for your encouragement re The Book. It is taking its time. And you're right. I need to squelch my finger out of that freaking hole of procrastination... (brings to mind "I'm a Celeb get me out of here" with what's his name? Paul Burrell! Did you see that? Did you? Did you?! And you have to watch The Apprentice on Weds at 9pm, BBC1. Katie is Grace's posh alter ego plus 10 years. Pug ugly, too.
Your girlfriend must be a tolerant and kind soul to do what she does. I write and rant about bad treatment of the elderly but she goes in and tends to them. That's amazing. Proper work.
The way the older of us are treated by the younger (who – what? – think they will never age?) makes me sick to my stomach. If I had to name one pet hate in life it would be the lack of respect and care shown to those who have aged, followed by the lack of care people show to others in general. I second everything you say and wish I had more power to change things. I may point you in the direction of my writings on such things. But only when convinced and all that.
I cannot believe I have written such a long response, TPE. It is not one to match yours but maybe will merit copying and pasting again. You never know.
I promise I shan't mention Timmy Mallett or Bully again. If I could make the noises of the Clangers (NMJ needed here, please!), I would.
Bestest regards and tally-ho, anon anon anon...
Pologies for the typos in my posts.
ReplyDeleteI am very, very tired.
Goodnight...
Ha! Found you, Mellifluous Dark. I am forced to humbly acknowledge your wordy prowess once more. I will be copying your response and taking it with me as I leave - the better to dissect and analyse your various levels of madness before responding.
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you were prepared to look properly mental by suddenly blurting out a response to a visitor who was yet to arrive. Quality. Insanity, even.
Back soon. Sleep as well as you can.
Kind regards etc
TPE
ah!!!!u got me longing for a long-awaited nap!!!!!!
ReplyDeletedamn this work here!!!:((((((
Mell D, Do you really have 80 pairs of shoes?
ReplyDeletePony, Do you really line up your shoes and stare at them?
The Apprentice is brilliant. They are all horrible apart from the physics girl who couldn't bear the world of profit and quit. But Katie is super horrible.
Priyanka hello... hope the studying is going well. Power naps are meant to be good for you. Go for it, girl!
ReplyDeleteTPE I await your reply. If it's less than 100 words, I shall cry into my decaff tea, you know. I wish upon you a fine day, and thank you once again for reading my insane ramblings...
NMJI may have lied about my 80 pairs of shoes/ boots - I probably have more. And yes, we must watch The Apprentice ce soir and compare notes.
Take care of your good and lovely self.
Off to work now! I'll see what fruit has been left outside the station for me to slip on.
Hey Mellifluous Dark - just a brief note before answering your other thing. I'm off to Bantry now - hurrah and boo, in equal measure - but wanted to say hello in the meantime. Hello.
ReplyDeleteI'll be back tonight, though, and shall be sure to make this my first port of call this evening. I also just need to quickly put NMJ right on something - I have a terrible feeling that she maybe thinks I am the kind of person that lines up my shoes and simply stares at them. Hold on....
NMJ - yes, I do do that. It's more like I just keep them in good order, though, and sometimes happen upon them (most days) and am reduced to simply staring at them (lovingly). I used to line up my toy cars in regimented lines when I was younger and simply stare at them, too. Hope this clears things up and puts your mind at rest. (You watch The Apprentice? Really? Jeez. Another loony in our midst x)
Mellifluous Dark - I think I took care of things pretty nicely there. All sorted now. 80 pairs of shoes, btw? Maybe more? Are you maybe a little bit like Imelda Marcos, Mellifluous Dark? In fact, are you maybe just Imelda Marcos? Imelda Darkos, even, as I may have to start calling you (secretly, in my head, don't worry).
Back later.
Kind regards to you (and to everyone else, too, of course)....
TPE
TPE I shall *flounce* not reply until you reply again. Ha!
ReplyDeleteImelda Darkos? Yes, I can live with that, and I share NMJ's fears about you lining up your shoes. Even I do not do that, siree.
Goodnight sweet prince(ss), one and all. For I must sleep or I shall turn into a mushroom.
NMJ and I are not loonies for watching The Apprentice, you uttah nuttah. You're missing out. Really.
Try it. Go on, just one. Watch the repeat... Go on...
All I have to say is that Katie notched up her flirting tonight bigstyle to escape being fired, though the hapless Ghazal had to go, she was sweet & mouthy but kind of pointless in this show.
ReplyDeleteI will count my own shoes tomorrow, I too must sleep.
. . . 24 pairs, I just counted, though I gave boots to a charity shop this week so used to be 25 . . . pony, of course you stare at your lined up shoes, i would expect nothing less from you.
ReplyDeleteNMJ - I'm not so sure I like the sound of that. You seem to be suggesting that I'm not altogether reliable, mentally speaking. Why would you expect nothing less from me? In fact, don't answer that - I may just cry into Mellifluous Dark's decaff tea, too.
ReplyDelete24 pairs of shoes? Good for you - but do try harder please, sweety. I'm going to count mine soon, as well. It just seems like the right thing to do. (hope you're well, btw - got your Steiner article and will be with you soon, okay? x)
Howdy doody, young woman, I hope you’re feeling okay today. (That’s not very nice of me, is it? I’ll try again….I hope you’re feeling brilliant today. Better)
Bad luck about losing your first response, btw - it happens with irritating frequency to me, too. Still, get over it and stop whining.
Do you talk to cows? I talk to cows. It is sometimes very rewarding, too – especially if the cow is up for a good moo (I’m being serious). But yes, I do see from your pictures that the cow you spoke with – Temporarily Bessie - seems pretty much intact in the old arse department. So, in other words, you failed to talk the arse off a cow?
Did you get beaten at talking by a cow, Mellifluous Dark? No offence, but you really can’t be very good at, you know, speaking and stuff, if you failed to out-talk a cow. Sheesh. Little wonder you devote yourself to the written word, you mouth-breathing lout. (Don’t worry, I imagine I’ll get round to being nice to you a little later on)
Anyway, I am starting to have serious misgivings (or inappropriate longings, I forget) about these wonder feet of yours. They sound, well, miraculous. So smooth that you are able to slide and glide barefoot, with perfect serenity I imagine, over all manner of surfaces? I want feet like that, Mellifluous Dark, because they sound way cool. Oh, and I don’t have trotters and I regularly slosh Domestos all over myself – just so you know, k? Now give me your feet.
Your shoe fixation does you proud, Imelda (you are so much better than NMJ in this area, it seems). I take my hat off to you (I have 11 hats). A little disappointed, mind you, to hear that your watch collection is abject, risible, all but non-existent – but these things take time. Oh man, that was a lame pun. I am slapping my own face, if that helps? I go in for all sorts of watches – swanky or skanky, it really doesn’t bother me – and rarely wear the same one for a whole day. My bad.
Hey. You shouldn’t be putting yourself down, by the way. It is an honourable thing to do – writing about (and therefore highlighting) the shameful treatment of the elderly and the irresponsibly grasping outlook and actions of our sweetest corporations. Go you, I say. (But my girlfriend is a legend in my eyes, all the same, and the most beautiful person I have ever known, too)
The battle against these things needs to be waged on every level – and I just happen to think that the level you fight from (journalism, the written word etc) is one of the most critical of all. So please don’t be diminishing yourself or your input, Mellifluous Dark. I really don’t care if you have only ever written one piece, either – this is still significantly more than the nothing that most people do. So watch it.
NMJ actually talks like a Clanger, did you know that? This is why she writes down her thoughts, because no-one can understand a word she says. Not a word of a lie. Personally, I find this very attractive, but a lot of men have been known to back away from her just the moment she starts to talk. I imagine this is why she hasn’t bothered to give me her phone number – it certainly seems like the only feasible explanation to me.
God damn, yes I did see Paul Burrell do his thing on I’m A Sleb. Happy? You really are making me look like a low brow creep here. Anyway, in my defence, I hate I’m A Sleb and only watch it to catch a glimpse of And and Dec doing their stuff. Those guys do good.
Is it just me, or would everyone like to see them kiss? I would like to see them kiss. Always have, really. Just one of those things. But they would make a terrific couple, I feel. They are v attractive in their cheeky chappy ways.
In fact, I would probably like to see them do more than just kiss, come to think of it, but I should maybe leave it at that.
I faithfully swear to watch The Apprentice next Wednesday at 9pm. I missed it last night because I didn’t get back from Bantry (and surrounding areas) in time. I’m trying not to be too excited at the prospect, but the older, just as ugly Grace character has me feeling mildly aroused – in a cultural way, you understand. Nothing untoward.
I'm sorry for not getting back to you yesterday, by the way, I was a bit knackered by the time I got back home. And then today, well, it's just been glorious weather.
I have my mum coming to stay this Sunday. Please expect a darkening of my mood and, perhaps, a rougher, more sweary approach to my communications. Self-loathing may also figure. But still.
Don't be beating yourself up over stealing a micro sleep, incidentally. It is one thing to know that this shouldn't be done, quite another to actually resist.
I still have a weirdy thing whereby if I sleep for a couple of minutes and then wake up, I can't get more sleep for hours and hours and hours. This is why I need to avoid dozing off in the early evening. So I watch stuff like Sleb to keep me awake, you see? All makes perfect sense, really.
Sorry again for slight delay. I think I may also have failed to respond to some things in your letter - but I'm sure I'll get back to them in short order.
Feel free, as ever, to bump me up a post or two at your leisure. I'll hunt you down and carry on wherever. (remember also to take your time and don't be feeling under any pressure to respond)
Bugger. This was my first attempt at an answer of 200-300 words. Did I manage? I did, didn't I?
Kind regards from Ireland, Mellifluous Dark.
TPE
TPE I have replied but you will have to find it. Again.
ReplyDeleteHa!