After the day/weeks I've had of late, I felt I needed a new toy. This is not simply an indulgence. It is a necessity.Obviously, it's good that I haven't just gone out and bought another pair of boots or shoes. Where would I put them, anyway? Indeed, there are several salient reasons:
• It is red (my favourite colour).
• It will be compatible with my iMac, which is not the case with my current MP3 player. Too complicated for words.
• It will enhance my commutes (many hours of my life...).
• It benefits charidee (I have to admit, ashamedly, that this is simply coincidental).
Hello, I also love all things red (especially shoes). Sorry to hear about your work stress. Hope things get a bit better. Sounds like your kung-fu is very therapudic.
ReplyDeleteTPE, what happened in Bantry and where have you gone? Was it all OK?
ReplyDeleteApologies for taking so long to reply to the comment above. Things have been a bit odd, you know, the usual sleep stuff (yawn)...
Now, first thing first. Feet. It all started many years ago when I was very young and hated walking around in bare feet. My feet never really hardened up as such and are quite soft as a result. Also, I religiously put lovely cream on everything twice daily. My little obsession, perhaps. But no, you cannot have my feet.
I like my current watch (well, the one that I choose to wear the most). It is shiny and sparkly but in a subtle way. I don't mind looking at the time when I see it on the face of this particular watch. I d have others but they don't impress me as much. Don't even start trying to encourage me to by more watches, TPE. No.
I'm pleased to hear that you watched Sleb Get Me Out etc. I wouldn't have expected anything more, would I? And yes, I know what you mean about Ant and Dec – their chemistry pours out of the telly, doesn't it? I bet they have kissed. They love one another.
The big question is: are you going to Do It on Wednesday (I think it's Weds). Are you going to watch Big Brother and confine your summer evenings to the sofa?!
The other question is: will I do this? My current answer is a resounding no. But it's that bloody theme tune that does it. Pavlovian response in excelsis. No, no, no! I always peek at the new people. Just to see. Wedge: thin end.
What did you think of The Apprentice then? Eh? Katie was in major fluttery-flattery mode. It was vile.
Still laughing at you saying that lovely NMJ talks like a Clanger. That line has give me much mirth (no offence, NMJ; we know TPE is nuts).
I hope your mood was not too dark during and following your mum's visit. Did you watch any cricket to escape?
Kind regards from The Big Smoke,
MD and the rabbits
To anyone reading this who doesn't understand why I have posted this reply here – apologies. 'The comment above' relates to a comment on my post 'Come here, my dear girl'.
ReplyDeleteIt is all the fault of The Periodic Englishman. Frankly.
Hi Chris – someone else who is up before 9am! Welcome.
ReplyDeleteYes, red things are marvellous. I read somewhere that if you wear red clothes or shoes next to your body, the high frequency vibrations of the colour physically affect how you feel.
I'm in a dangerous mood at the moment. I feel the urge to shop. And buy red things.
The work thing has been awful but the cause – Gordon – will hopefully be p45'd by the time I'm back in that office. Thanks though, I hope it eases.
And yes, kung fu is brilliant. I went through a phase in my early 20s where my friend Helen and I would visit psychics at a strange little shop in Covent Garden, London. The themes that came through were: 'learn a martial art' and 'you will do well in the world of words and publishing'. How odd.
Yikes. You snuck this answer past me. Either that or I've had my mum to stay and have barely had the time - or strength, let's face it - to attend to anything more demanding than my Flickr account.
ReplyDeleteShe's leaving tomorrow night, however, so I'll be as free as freedom itself once more. Something like that, anyway.
This is merely a courtesy call, Mellifluous Dark, to help dispel the gathering notion that you are as mad as a fish and simply can't stop barking out answers to people who aren't even here. I'm helping you, okay? I expect thanks for this. People were starting to get frightened by your strange behaviours - and who can properly blame them?
Anyway, none of these words count towards the 300 or so I'll write in my real response to your deranged "answer" above. I failed a little bit in my attempt to limit myself to 300 words last time. Next time, I'm really going to try to fail a little less badly. I may fail in this. I will fail in this.
But hang strong, Kung Fu Sleepyhead, because I'll be back to annoy you shortly. If not tomorrow night, then certainly on Monday.
Hope everything is just tickety-boo for you right now and yes, of course I'll be watching on Wednesday, you daft shoe. What kind of a question is that? Listen to the theme tune, Mellifluous Dark, you know you want to. Need to, even. Allow yourself this disgraceful and unedifying pleasure - I'll not tell a soul.
Back in short order and I suppose I really do hope that all is as well as can be with you at the moment. It hurts me to say it, though.
Kind regards from the tiny smoke,
TPE and the dog
Aha! Hello, TPE. Hello indeed. It is gratifying to have your response in the hope that it will dispel the notion that I am (allegedly) a barking loon. So, thank you kindly for taking the trouble in these traumatic times to tap me a comment.
ReplyDeleteI shall look forward to your 300-word comment to my post. I expect you to be very apologetic for encouraging me to watch That Programme when it kicks off on Wednesday. How could you? You – you peddlar of things low brow. I will not let The Programme get in the way of my kung fu though, so there is some hope that I shall not be glued to the wannabe idiots and their escapades nightly.
I am going to buy things shortly. I am feeling in need of retail therapy, and then I am coming home to practise my punching in the mirror (obviously not standing too close to it). So far, my washing has unexplained mud on it so I'm doing it again, and my sodding car won't start so I'm waiting for the fourth (or it is the fifth?) emergency service to get here.
Adieu and kind regards – until you and the dog are both freer than something that has been uncaged...
I am slithering in here, abjectly, full of deepest remorse, sorry beyond words for encouraging you to watch The Programme. There can be little doubt that this was a step too far – an act so low brow, so murky, so wrongly wrong, that I can barely bring myself to ask for your forgiveness for fear of a terminal response.
ReplyDeleteI hope that this was a suitably apologetic start to my 300-word response? You did ask for such a thing, remember. I feel that I have delivered in grand style, although I do worry that I have used up rather a lot of my word allocation in doing so.
You are going to buy things shortly? Things? I like the sound of that. It seems wild and random and as if you are maybe not in full control of your shopping urges. I see a shop assistant asking you “can I help you, madam?” And there you are, gliding past on your wonder-feet (although we may need to talk about your “strange” ears later, okay?), eyes forward, aflame with stuff-lust, responding distractedly, maniacally, “yes, I want things, I need some things, show me your best things….quicker”. You demented materialist wrongdoer.
Still, the red thing you seem to have bought already is mighty fine on the eye and, crucially, as you say, red. That counts for a lot in my book.
You also claim to have resisted the temptation to buy more shoes or boots. What’s that about? Seriously, what’s wrong with you? This just makes me worry for your mental health. What kind of a loser resists the temptation to buy shoes? Very disappointed in you, Imelda.
Hmm. I have reached my total of 300 words without once addressing your original response. I may need to devise a plan.
Kind regards……
And wait a minute. Is that Chris at the top of this page? The Canadian. My Canadian. So you are not only a shopper, it seems, but a thief, too. It was bad enough when Mr. Moon Topples Maht stole her from my blogroll (oh, he’ll come up with some wild story about finding her in space all by himself – we all know differently, however) but now you seem to have stolen her, as well. How is she expected to solely pay attention to me when other people are making demands on her time? Criminal behaviour. Criminal.
ReplyDeleteDid you notice, by the way, that the word “regards” in my last letter was the 300th word exactly? I noticed. I am so disciplined this afternoon it simply takes the breath away.
Check this out for cool, laconic, self-restraint…..
1) Bantry was good, thanks. I bought olives and wild salmon and mango jam.
2) ) Well done for religiously applying lovely cream everywhere twice daily. You are wise. (Would I get soft and glidey feet if I did such a thing – or is it too late to start now?)
3) Sorry to hear you’re not giving me your feet. You really are wise.
4) Buy more watches – it is the way forward, Mellifluous Dark, and I feel you know this at heart. Terrific, of course, that you are happy with your tastefully sparkly watch and that you don’t mind knowing what the time is and everything. But buy more watches. Do this thing and know the feel of transient happiness, friend. It is the only way. Word.
5) Sorry about encouraging you to buy more watches when you specifically asked me not to.
6) I’m running out of words again, damn it.
7) I may need to return, shortly.
Kind regards etc……
Now, TPE. We have a situation. The start of The Programme clashes with The Apprentice.
ReplyDeleteWhat am I to do? I love The Apprentice – it is one of my favourite programmes. I have invested many Wednesday evenings (well, an hour a go) watching Sir Alan doing his thing with those odd-bods. Hmm. So, you see, your apology may not even be relevant. I am sorry for making you sorry.
But you will be sorry if I do become hooked on the blessed Programme and become all obsessed like I was with CBB.
Do you know, I was exactly how you so astutely describe when I went to buythings. I needed things. Things, things, things. It's very difficult being v tired (etc) and filling up the day with things that don't involve sitting about in this awful weather. I'd run the risk of falling asleep against P's rules if I stayed in. So, things it was.Plus I was told I had to drive the car. And it wasn't my fault that there were shops at the place I drove to. I don't do that often, you know.
I'm pleased that you approve of the red thing. It's lovely, isn't it?
And, er, the shoe thing. Well, I did try on four pairs but they just weren't right for me so I put them back. It was disappointing but I did spare myself the worry of where to put them. So that was good, really.
Kind regards from the damp Big Smoke. I am working today so I had better get back to it now that I've devoured my risotto...
TPE! I shall return to you later. I see you have written several hundred more words that appeared while I was writing to your other several hundred words.
ReplyDeleteIs Chris your Canadian? Oooh, well, I'm not sure what to say. I didn't steal her, I didn't. She came and found me. Ner.
Hmph, until later. I expect I will be back...
Oh no. You have sneaked in an answer between my two responses and your mouthfuls of risotto. Now we really do have a situation. How am I expected to keep a track of stuff if you keep butting in and throwing me off balance? That's just horrible of you. Why don't you just get lost and and keep these rude behaviors to your own blog space and stop harassing folk in their own homes?
ReplyDeleteWait. I may have got slightly confused there.
The red thing is lovely, though, really lovely. And you at least tried on four pairs of shoes.
The thing I said about buying things - whilst meant in a kind of funny way - was perfectly serious, too. My girlfriend is sometimes overcome with just such a need. It is indiscriminate, the act of buying itself being the temporary healer.
Very, very occasionally, I can have this urge, too. It gives a sort of high, doesn't it? A brief respite from the controlling banalities of life.
The Apprentice/BB dilemma is perhaps an even more acute problem than the Israeli/Palestinian issues that beset and disfigure the world, Mellifluous Dark.
It is very hard to see how this is going to be resolved satisfactorily. I really pity you for having to make such a terribly stark and desperate choice. The world is watching you, Mellifluous Dark - act wisely, or learn to live with regret.
Right, I'm off. I'll need to get back to the rest of your other response later. God, I am so thoroughly decent.
Kind regards etc....
TPE
(eat plenty risotto, you need your strength, Tiredy)
I Will Be Back.
ReplyDelete(Got so much work to do...)
It's all so confusing. All this cross-posting and cross posting.
I'm scared to publish this. If I do, I'll find yet more hundreds of words lurking. Are you doing this just to play with my mind?
Never. You won't find any response from me here upon your return. My lips are sealed, my fingers tied, my head an alarming shade of empty.
ReplyDeleteIt is confusing, isn't it? Shouldn't be, but it is. All these words flying around, bumping into each other, crossing over, confusing any issue that there may or may not have been in the first place.
I suppose these words of mine here may not exactly be helping things, either. Just so much noise in a noisily noisy world, adding nothing to a greater understanding, merely furthering the frustrating complexity of these befuddled exchanges. Hmm. Sorry 'bout that.
I liked reading your Madeleine McCann post, by the way. It is a relief to find that I'm not alone in feeling a sense of extreme disquiet with the whole affair. I remember frantically searching for people who, like me, remained entirely unmoved by the saturation press coverage of Princess Diana's death and funeral. I seem to recall having real reason to feel profoundly grateful to Private Eye at this time.
There was a troubling sense that everyone around you had gone totally mad and entirely lost any sense of perspective - and yet and yet and yet....it was the detached sceptics who were painted as baddies at the time. Quite hysterically so, if memory serves.
Anyway, I'm not saying that the plight of the McCann family leaves me unmoved - far, far from it - just that I feel the same sense of bewilderment at the behaviour of our press.
Have I confused matters further by talking about another post of yours in here? Oops. Like I say, sorry 'bout that.
This time I really will give you some peace, though. So do try to feel safe for a day or so. And please remember that I was being very serious when I said that you should take things easy and never feel under pressure to respond immediately. Or at all, in fact.
The worst that can happen is that I'll grow to hate you for your tardiness and so try to damage your professional (and personal) reputation with a vicious campaign of lies and innuendo. Relax.
Kind regards, chatty Mellifluous Dark, very lovely as always to see you.
TPE
TPE, morning to you. I hope the sun is shining in Ireland today. It’s very nice here. Funny how the West Indies lost yesterday – bet they couldn’t quite believe the state of the weather. Seven degrees?!
ReplyDeleteI didn’t notice that ‘regards’ was the 300th word. Very remiss of me. But take pleasure in the fact that I have had to write your response on to a Word document and shall copy and paste. This also reduces the chances of me losing precious words. You know how it is.
In answer to your numbered points:
1) Your food purchases sound very good. What is the mango jam like?
2) It is never too late to apply cream to one’s feet. Do it. Do it now. By July you will be singing with happiness, gliding around and showing off your pinkies.
3) I am indeed wise.
4) I mustn’t buy more watches. No. Don’t.
5) You aren’t sorry about the watches situation at all.
6) I’m sure you will come back with more words
7) And you have…
Your girlfriend is very wise re the occasional shopping thing, and let’s face it, she sounds lovely and I’m sure she deserves such moments. I find that it’s cheaper than therapy, you can always take the item back and (unless you end up paying interest on the new things), it’s an effective way to feel nice. Short-term anyway. But if you buy things that will last (such as the red thing, which hopefully will arrive today), then, well, it’s an investment. Like the yellow skirt.
Glad to hear that you felt the same re the Madeleine McCann saga. I call it a saga because that is what it has turned into. A bit of a tabloid soap opera. Poor little girl – she’s become news fodder. Yesterday there was something in the papers about two people who were driving a massive sandwich board about the place as they were so moved by the plight of the McCanns. It’s selfless of them, of course. But I do wonder. Why? Why Madeleine? What about the other children of this world who are suffering just as badly, if not worse, daily? And this is me talking as a member of the press…
And yes, I also feel I have to keep saying that I hope to goodness that Madeleine is OK and that she will recover from whatever she has been through.
I was also shocked by Diana’s death and did feel terribly bad for her sons. In that case it seemed that the press was in fact led by the public “outpouring of grief for the people’s princess”. But here we are 10 years on and the papers are filled with yadda yadda about this C4 documentary and the pics of Diana dying.
So, TPE, you can’t hate me for my tardiness yet. It’s likely that after this comment I won’t have very much time on my hands this week. So you may have to make do with reading short posts, should you care to do so. And then you can plant those seeds. I can only apologise in advance.
Kind wishes and regards from The Big Smoke for today and the remainder of the week.
Mellifluous D