Wednesday 1 August 2007

Erm, I've won a writing comp!


KF Gallagher ran a 'Get Petty' writing competition recently – you had to start with the first sentence (as below) from the Tom Petty song Listen to Her Heart, and complete it in 500 words or fewer. And, I appear to have won! I am thrilled and grinning like a loon. Entry is at KFG's site and also below:

You think you're gonna take her away, with your money and your cocaine. But I’m watching you and I’ll do whatever I have to so you’re no longer able to touch her.

I like to think you imagine that I observe you sometimes. Do you do that, Larry? You know how my mind works, the lengths to which I’d go. You know I’m unencumbered by a conscience. Why aren’t you more worried, more watchful?

I wouldn’t say I hate you, old friend. I despise you. She was my perfect match, the one unsullied thing I had in my life. You are her polar opposite. You need to walk away. Put away your money, stop taking her out to those places where the cutlery is six-deep. She is no whore; you know where you can get plenty of those.

After what we’d all been through, I can’t imagine how you are so stupid that you believe we’re done – that I could be fine with you wrapping yourself and your life around her. Are you marking her body the way you now mark her mind? Are you? I almost crept into the bedroom once, intending to watch from the cupboard to see what sorts of things you did, but the possibilities made me dizzy.

Two years may have passed, but with each day you anger me more. When I see you walking down her street, laden with lilies, I hold myself back. I’m gonna have to wait or you’ll get in there first and find some way to keep me away from you. I can’t have that; I’ve worked so hard to find you again, Larry. I’m amazed that you’ve forgotten me. But I am a Scorpio, I never forget. You should have remembered that.

She looks happy when she opens her front door – you stand there in a beautiful suit, your pockets full, posing for a moment as she appraises you before you cross the threshold. Her face is slimmer, her pink mouth is as wide as ever and the shadows have fallen from beneath her eyes. She is my she. Her softness and silkiness and those sensual parts of her, they are mine.

An old woman laden with bags of potatoes caught me watching you once. Her sparse eyebrows lifted at the sight of me and she shuffled away, her dirty sandals scraping the pavement as she scurried, stumbling and mumbling.

It’s bonus day soon. You’ll be so distracted by your wallet, and what it can buy, that you won’t have time to allow yourself to remember the anniversary of when you told me how badly you wanted to screw her. We were off our heads on coke and Cristal. You laughed. I got into my car, blurry with fury.

So, here we are. Your hands are relaxed on the steering wheel of your new Jaguar. Your scream, as my hands grip yours, is piercing. The sudden impact brings you instantly to where you can see me.

Hello, Larry.

Thanks KFG. I can't quite believe I won but am obviously incredibly happy that I did! *Blush*

7 comments:

  1. Congratulations, Ms Dark - a fine piece of monologue.

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  2. Well done, Mell D - I am worried about what's going to happen to Larry!

    Do you know?

    x

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  3. Well done and congratulations! I enjoyed this piece.

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  4. Thanks, NMJ – Larry is now, erm, dead... Hence he can see the narrator. It's all a bit odd, I know. I have a dark mind, me! x

    And thank you, strugglingwriter. It means a lot to have literary types like what I write. Glad you enjoyed it.

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  5. Larry is dead??

    I liked it...very dark though..but a nice piece of work. Congrats!!


    preetha.

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  6. Thanks, Preetha! How are you?

    The narrator is dead (the woman who sees him watching Larry actually just sees his ghost)... and the narrator goes on to kill Larry by grabbing the wheel. So, Larry finally sees him when he dies.

    Yes, it's all a bit dark, not quite sure where it came from!! I'm not dark in everyday life, so this must be some sort way of getting out one's darker side safely.

    x

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