The c*nt downstairs

Yes, the neighbour we thought was "such a nice woman" (and in fact had been saying as much earlier in the day – oh, the irony!) is a total, utter piece of shit. A prize cunt and a rude, supercilious little fuckwit.

It's not often in life that I despise people. There is the woman who shafted me workwise at Easter, who earns my derision, and is not off my radar, though she may think she is. And there is Ground Floor Girl, the witch from hell.

I was awake until 1am, spent most of the evening shaking with fury due to what was a neighbourly act by S and myself being thrown back in our faces followed by a barrage of very rude texts. The reason? Well, GFG had gone away for four days, left her large front (ground floor) window wide open, so that all and sundry could see her plasma TV and the expensive contents of her bedroom, and she'd also left her skylight and her back window wide open, too.

So, knowing a) that she was abroad and, b) that if she was burgled, they'd have access to our place, too (and we would not be insured due to it being an open invitation), we did what anyone in their right mind would have done and closed her windows!

I sent her a text to let her know and was met with angry replies that escalated, saying that we should not have gone into her flat (erm, yes, anyone could have gone into your skanky flat, love, and we tried to close the bloody window from the outside but couldn't). It took about a minute.

Then, over the next two hours, she descended into "I will call the police next time" and "You are not my friends" and on and on. There was no, "Thanks for looking out for me, or "Sorry I left the windows to our JOINT house open." She has a law degree and works as a banker, and thinks that that makes her oh-so-clever. But it just makes her into an even bigger moron, frankly. Her ego is huge and her vision of herself is deluded. This is a 28-year-old with the common sense of a nursery school child.

We'd even got rid of the bailiffs earlier in the day, who had left a note to say they were about to break in to recover £22K owed by the twat who developed the flats. And, we have done her plenty of favours. She sat there drinking our wine when she moved in, outstaying her welcome by far too many (boring) hours, she got her solicitor to make us pay for half of the insurance so she could move in, oh, and all sorts of things. We did up the back garden – she does nothing. We tidied up the front garden – she does nothing. We buy things to improve the place – she contributes nothing. And when her Ocado delivery arrived at 11.30pm, she was out and muggins took the stuff inside for the witch. S is forever bringing her organic veggie boxes in from the rain.

It's actually quite sad that someone with (supposedly) a decent brain can be so devoid of any community spirit, niceness or decency. It's so reassuring to know that had we left our windows open, she'd have just left them.

Oh, yes, we could have phoned her. But then what? Wait in nervously, for her to say: "Yes, you may close the windows before I am burgled". Did she expect us to put our lives on hold while she was on holiday to get the nod? Fuck off. What she fails to register is that this is a JOINT property and, actually, if she had called the police they would have said, "Don't leave your fucking property open, you silly cow."

I did call the police, who said that next time, we should leave it and let her take her chances (they also said she was highly irresponsible). Well, I shan't argue with any of that.