I went to view chocolate

Yes, that is correct. I viewed chocolate.

As I am banned from eating it for the next five weeks (as it contains caffeine, which may keep me awake), I went to the chocolate aisle (just how much chocolate can there be?!) in Sainsbury's at lunchtime and tortured my senses with the packaging, the curly gold writing, the hardness of the bars, the descriptions of the flavours, the endless array of chunks and hunks and boxes and packets.

Surely, this must be food porn?

Oh, I tasted a unsweetened carob bar a couple of days ago. I've had sweetened carob before and it's vaguely passable. But I made a mistake and picked up the martyr version. Quite frankly, I'd rather eat a hunk of lard slathered on a piece of papier maché. Yuk. Cost flipping two quid and all.