Saturday 16 August 2008

Just how old are you?

I went to Homebase to buy some glue, a new vase to replace the one the wind blew over and shattered this morning, and a paint roller.

The vase and roller (plus some plain white plates that hadn't been on my list) were easy to find but I couldn't locate the glue. There didn't seem to be a glue section, nor was there a big 'ADHESIVES' banner hanging above any aisles.

So, I asked a Homebase man where the Superglue was and he literally looked me up and down as though I was insane. He frowned: "Hmm, are you over 18?"

I am 39.

Thirty-nine!! Hahahahaha.

I laughed, how I laughed. The man, perhaps taken aback by my manic cackling, took me to the glue area and left me there, still looking at me somewhat askance, probably imagining me later with my hoodies and dem, swigging cheap booze and, erm, copping a load of Superglue fumes. There was a fat man standing in front of most of the glue display. Squinting, I read from a distance to see which of the many types of glue I could use, reached in front of his massive belly and plucked a packet from the display. He continued to stand, motionless, mesmerised by the yellow tubes of Araldite, apparently.

I've been asked for ID in the past two months when buying wine but at least there you have to look 21. I cannot believe this man thought I was 17. It could be flattering, I guess, but I don't want to look younger than 18, thanks very much!

Anyway, the vase is in place, the glue was used to stick down M's pawprint motif on her bed (she had pulled it up and eaten a bit of it), and I just can't be bothered to paint today, so am listening to rock music while online shopping and intermittently cleaning the place.

I'll try to buy some wine later and see if the youth fairy's spell is still working.


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Listening to: Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon

2 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha!That's really flattering dear :)

    People have told me I look younger than my years,but 22 years lesser than one's actual age is really something.You sure are blessed by the youth fairy!

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  2. Hey Melodious, how are you doing? In fact, don't answer that, because I know how you're doing already, having spent the last wee while going through all the posts on your front page. You are uppy-downy, that's how you are. Hopefully more up than down today, in any event.

    Two things:

    1) you must look shockingly young to be asked for ID like this. Do you use magic soap? Surely surely surely it can't be a lack of sleep that keeps you looking like a teenager? This would upset the whole balance of the world.

    2) Araldite. I've not heard that word for years. Certain things pass from the mind once childhood has been left behind and Araldite - since I gave up making model planes - is one of them. You inhabit a strange universe, MD.

    Actually, one more thing: you should have chopped the fat guy to the floor for being such an inconsiderate oaf. When are you *ever* going to put this kung-fu of yours to good use, otherwise? This was a golden opportunity missed, I fear.

    Hope you're having a glorious evening, Melodious.

    Kind regards etc....

    TPE

    (And thanks for the kind things you said over at NMJ's, by the way. That made me happy. People should say those sorts of things about me more often, as far as I can tell, but it just doesn't seem to happen. How's that fair?)

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