Silver linings

Having had a rather odd week, I started to feel a lot better the night before my birthday (yep, I am still talking about it...).

I'd asked a few friends to come to the dog races for dinner and a spot of minor gambling. None, bar one, could make it – understandable seeing as I'd given people four days' notice for a Saturday night in July. So, despite a shadow of self-doubt creeping into my mind, I didn't take offence and instead believed people's reasons. In any case, it has given me the excuse to extend said birthday celebrations for when some of my friends are free.

I was a little nervous, however, that the races wouldn't be enjoyable, fearing that my blue-hued mood and accompanying state of mild unease might return. But instead, and I don't know why, the cloud that had been sitting on my shoulders lifted, leaving behind only a silver lining.

S won many races, showing an ability to read form that surprised me – not for the first time. I mainly went on a combination of a liking for the dog's name, gut feeling and a scan at the dog's past few race results, and won about one in three races. Our friend, P, gambled a couple of quid on a few races and mainly lost, but we all got into the spirit of the event quickly and had a wonderful evening despite not beating the bank.

The next day, I woke up at about 9.30am and got ready slowly. The actions involved in me having a shower and blowdrying my hair rendered me hot and sticky. Beads of perspiration sat on my nose and upper lip. Not the look I was going for. I wore a floaty dress with thin straps, and sandals, and that was all still too hot. As S and I waited in the sun for a bus, I squashed myself up against a wall to stand in a sliver of shadow. Ordinarily, we might have walked along the river to get to our destination, but it was scorchingly hot.

S took me to a restaurant overlooking the river where the air was conditioned (even though we were sitting just outside) and the food fantastic. The cold, sparkling wine we drank magnified the drowsiness caused by the heat, and we sat there for hours before making our way to a park, sitting there for a while and then returning home, where we lay in front of a fan. It was relaxed and relaxing. I was merry on wine and warmth. It was a lovely day.

At one point during the meal, I recalled my last birthday, when I felt horrendous on account of being in the throes of terrible insomnia and my sleep regime. I realised that in one year, life had moved on in a way that at that time I could not imagine. Perhaps that change – the fact that things have altered – has given me cause for (careful) excitement for the coming year. A friend emailed me today, reminding me of a list of things he had said I'd do between my last birthday and this one. I haven't done any of them. But that wasn't my list. It's time for me to draw up one of my own.