Bye Jade, hello ducks

Davina McCall probably saved her career last night. She didn't gurn, fawn or dodge the issues when Jade was evicted from the Big Brother house - I suppose her bosses made damn sure of that. But fair play to her, she did a reasonably good job and conveyed the fact that Jade's star has plummeted into a muddy puddle pretty well. Sometimes just presenting the facts - shown as a series of clips of Jade screaming, swearing and behaving like a banshee - is enough. You don't really need to be a Dimbleby or a Paxman to sound controversial when dealing with subject matter that includes bullying and racism.

There was a curry on the table from the best Indian restaurant in the area plus two bottles of rioja and a jug of cold water (just in case) as the catchiest theme tune in TV history (with Coronation Street and Grange Hill coming close) thundered through the television speakers. Jade looked extremely nervous as Davina announced her demise (she received 82% of the vote). Shilpa was shocked and shaken and later had to be comforted by Ian, a pop star who used to sing in Steps, a group about which I know nothing. Jack, Jade's sexual plaything, seethed quietly, his snake eyes flicking from Jade to Shilpa and back again. Danielle's brain cell switched to the 'on' position as she began to worry about the implications of being associated with her 'best friend' Jade. Jo cried under her hat, saying she never thought she'd see a time when she would be upset about having no Jade under the same roof as her. She wasn't wearing her dressing gown, which she seems to have lived in lately, so that was probably a bonus for those within sniffing distance. The rest of the housemates looked uncomfortable or upset. Cleo, as usual, was a combination of both.

Anyway, Jade, unsurprisingly for someone who had been briefed by their PR/ a shrink/ the producers et al for an hour, claimed she 'nevvah meant it' and she 'wasn't racist' and was 'disgusted with herself'. OK. So you are just a bully then? I'm afraid I won't be buying your perfume, any mag or rag with your face on it, or reading your biography, dear. It should be noted here that Jade advised Danielle, on the programme's live feed yesterday afternoon that you can 'talk your way out of anything'. She tried very hard to do just that but as The Sun today shows, failed to make the media fall at her feet:


Note the 'free Shilpa Shetty DVD' offer in the Sun? Fabulous.

And here is the Mirror:

On another note, today is the first day in a while that I have woken up without a headache. I was awake on and off, until 2am, but stayed in dreamland until 10am, when the new neighbour downstairs did her morning 'heels on wooden floor' seemingly endless pacing. What Ground Floor Girl does walking up and down, up and down, is mystifying. Maybe she has one of those gadgets that measures calories lost according to steps taken. I just wish she'd pull on a pair of slippers if she insists on walking miles at home. The click-clack starts much earlier during the week, as she works in Canary Wharf doing something numerical and fiscal, and needs to leave far earlier than I could cope with.


It's sunny here today. In fact it looks like a beautiful early spring day, even though it is midwinter. There are little flowers blooming in the garden and the clematis is a shiny, dark green against the Victorian brick walls.

This picture was taken from the banks of a small island in the Thames - couldn't tell you how to get there as it was one of those places you would never plan to visit but just happen upon. It was a place we found by serendipity: turn right, then go fourth left, up to the end of this road, and, er, left again looks good, and on and on... The river was so high that it covered most footpaths. What remained above ground was very slippery. There weren't many water birds around but those that were there seemed very grateful for the bagful of crusty ends of Marks and Spencer golden wholemeal that they received this afternoon. It was cold - ear-tingly cold - but the air was fresh, the sun was bright and relaxation pulled us deeper with every step we took. Fresh cream chocolate éclairs that had somehow lain forgotten in the fridge overnight were a fitting reward.

Picture © Mellifluous Dark, all rights reserved